7 Tips on “How to Meet Reformed Men”


Ah yes, the classic “let me show you a verse” move.

I’ve written enough articles over the last few months that I now get readers coming to my blog off of random Google searches. Sometimes they make sense, others not so much, and a few make me laugh. One particular search caught my eye the other day: “how to meet Reformed men.” Apparently there is at least one single Christian woman out there, looking for a man with a sound grasp of the doctrines of grace. Now, I’m not sure she found what she was looking for here, but in the spirit of brotherly love, I thought I’d list a few helpful, possibly humorous, suggestions from friends and family on “how to meet Reformed men”:

    1. Go to a local Reformed church and look for one. 
    2. If no Reformed church is available, look for the guy in the back of your local non-denominational church, furiously writing notes during the sermon in order to write the pastor an email filled with corrections.
    3. In that same church, mention words like “covenant”, “doctrine”, “election”, or “fatherly hand” in conversations with any single men and look for the twinkle in their eyes. (HT: Sean McLeish)
    4. Frequent local coffee shops with a copy of Calvin’s Institutes lying out on the table. Make sure you’ve read some of it, though, and include sufficient highlights and underlining.
    5. Repeat #4 in local breweries and pubs (unless Baptist).
    6. Move to Louisville, walk around Southern’s campus without a wedding ring on. (Reformed Baptist; HT Lauren Rambo)
    7. For those favoring the online approach, ReformedSingles.com offers to fill the gap. Unlike other dating sites this is a place where: “Our members are prepared for marriage by reading a wide variety of articles on marriage, dating pitfalls, courtship, divorce and remarriage, and more. Our Members’ identities have been verified by their pastor so people you meet really are who they say they are. Finally, our members know that their futures are predestined by our heavenly Father and rest in His kind hands.” (HT: Alan Noble)

Although I’ve limited myself to 7 tips, on biblical grounds, I’m sure our sisters would love some more (appropriate) suggestions from the readership in the comments. Blessings on the search.

Soli Deo Gloria

(Image Credit: Online For Love)

72 thoughts on “7 Tips on “How to Meet Reformed Men”

  1. Chesterton said a sane man was one who could have comedy in his head and tragedy in his heart.

    It was a parody, for sure, but it’s sad. I think I’ve lost 20 years off my life from spasms, heart pains and convulsions caused by christian-mingle commercials. “Do you want to hear really good news?!”, I hope it’s someone to put me down before I hear the rest of the commercial.


    • Ha! Seriously, commercials on Christian radio stations are the worst. Playing the already-cheesy worship music behind a dating site bringing out the already-too-erotic elements in the song just layers too many levels of Christian sentimentality and consumerism.

    • Cal, Thanks to ChristianMingle commercial on a snow day during a very lonely season when I was at a small church plant surrounded only by families I quickly met the love of my life, God’s perfect fit for me! Must admit, I am rather thankful for their cheesy commercials!!! 😉

    • Cal… it’s real but RS went away many years ago… but Sovereign Grace Singles (.com) has been active since January of 2005!

      Check it out!


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  3. Are you sure those “girls” asking for advice on where to find Reformed Men weren’t guys posing as girls in order to advertise where they want Reformed girls to look? lol Most single reformed guys I know are resigned to the reality that they will be in a situation where they will be converting their future or actual spouse to a 5pointer – I think most guys I know would find that fun and a badge of honor to have conquered their woman theologically.

    • In a way that’s sad. I sometimes feel like that’s the reason why I’m still single. I mean, do reformed single guys in my country and around my age exist or not? I would have to think perhaps not; either that or they are too busy trying to ‘convert’ their non-reformed girls to reformed theology to think about using their initiative to find me.

      • Aussie…


        We totally redid a website called Sovereign Grace Singles (.com) has been active since January of 2005!

        There are Aussie’s there!

        Check it out!


    • Conquer their woman theologically bahaha. I guess I could see how someone would be offended by that but I think it’s actually kinda sexy. 👀

  4. Pingback: This is hilarious - Christian Forums
      • Or you can have had very unsavory experiences from that site. VERY UNSAVORY. God is in control. There is no right answer on how He brings your mate into your life. HE WORKS on an intimately individual basis with each of His people.

    • Thanks BC!!


      PS… Reformed Singles went away many years ago… but Sovereign Grace Singles (.com) has been active since January of 2005!

      Check it out!


  5. Hey, this is serious business. Chuckle away from the position of marriage or even as the man who is the one in the hunting position; but the shoe will someday be on the other foot as you look at your teenaged daughters and wonder this very question.
    Arranged marriages start sounding good 😉

  6. Pingback: How Much Theology Should Couples Agree on Before They Get Married? – The Gospel Coalition Blog
  7. I have to admit that I tend to be seen as the home schooled nerd that knows more theology than the senior pastor at my church, so this blog title really caught my eye! =) And even though I’m a 17 yr. old female who should care very much (according to this world) about dating and guys, there are definitely times I wish my marriage had been arranged!

  8. I just put the word reformed on my Christianmingle profile about three times. My (totally reformed) boyfriend of just over a year says it was the first thing that he noticed, other than my picture. 🙂 he “picked me up” with a line about John McArthur.

  9. Pingback: My Top 12 Reformedish Posts of 2013 | Reformedish
  10. Personally, I start my online dating searches by looking for men going by their first two initials… I’m convinced it means something deeply theological 🙂
    These are actually quite helpful in all honesty! I will start working on #5 immediately.

  11. It is hard for Reformed men to Find a good Christian woman let alone a Reformed one. In WI anyway. So how about creating an article how to meet Reformed women?

  12. Let me know if you would like to try, I mean, just to be friends, and speak, just that, We could be using maybe… facebook, or gmail, or sovereigngracesingles.com whatever. What do you say, I am 28 years old.God bless you.

  13. I think that this website must have a chatrooms, Derek, and that is a great topic, there are more and more Reformed Christians but… it is still difficult to find reformed single Christian in some areas.

  14. I’m a single, reformed, covenant loving gal who has never been married and looking for a man that can lead me and assist in my spiritual growth. I’m family oriented and seeking a lifelong partner. 🙂

    • Well, you should know that not all “Reformed men” are white or make a lot of money or even live State side. The reason I’m saying that is because I’m not sure if “Reformed girls” consider the likelihood of those circumstances converging when they look for a spouse. A lot of times, those requirements qualify the kind of “Reformed men” that they’re actually looking for. But, that’s just me thinking. I don’t know how true or valid my argument really is. Feel free to correct me.

      • I think you pose a valid point but I think that point can be made as well for reformed men seeking a certain type of reformed woman. You mention that reformed women look for men with money or that they be a certain complexion but men do the same thing by wanting a certain type of women whether it be a woman that looks a certain way or is more home/stay at home wife type then a professional. Now are these preferences sinful or bad, no. But when they outweigh the theological compatibility, I think that is when we are treading some pretty serious waters. And that’s just my opinion too. Do you find yourself in that category of being overly picky with spouse seeking?

      • Sovereign Grace Singles (.com) has been active since January of 2005!

        Check it out!


    • Hi WorkinProgress, I would like to talk more but am unsure of the emails you’ve given me as they seem to either not work or seem shady. If you want to talk, we’ll have to figure out another way to communicate or create a legit email?

  15. Pingback: A bit of humour on regarding finding a single reformed guy (not an issue I have) – R.K. Brumbelow
  16. Reformed Singles went away many years ago… but Sovereign Grace Singles (.com) has been active since January of 2005!

    Check it out!


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